Entertainer Peter Allen used to sing “Everything Old is New Again.”
At the time I began work on this column, Disney announced they would be using all that WDI brainpower they have idling both in Glendale and Orlando to build Disney-themed residential “Storyliving” communities nationwide. Disney would make their money from royalties for their provided expertise in planning and use of their technology, as well as fees collected from non-residential visitors for everything from shopping or dining, seeing a movie to park picnics. It’s as if local government was replaced by cruise line companies or senior center operators.
The mind reels at what may be coming…
One of the things I’ve learned about the Disney Company over all the years I’ve written about them is that they never throw anything away. They’ll spend years (if not decades) developing an elaborate plan only to abandon it at the last minute due to unforeseen controversy or a newly enacted budget cut. Then a couple of management regimes later they suddenly “rediscover” these dusty old blueprints, and with the addition of a few more popcorn bucket carts and a new character tie-in they announce that the world demands what they have come up with, and then arranges where the queue starts up for it.
Other projects they are working on involve new businesses areas for the company. Below are renderings of a new hotel complex to be named: “Disney Circle of Life Resort.”
Mufasa’s reflection will welcome each guest by name. (Children may be lifted up in the air by a cast member for an extra fee.) Interestingly the Lion King theme would be played down as Epcot’s SpaceShip Earth dome will be replicated on a slightly smaller scale over the new hotel’s entry lobby to house the resort’s upscale shopping arcade. It’s felt that the modern architecture of the dome and the more traditional (um, Vegas?) design of the hotel lobby, room wings and common areas aims at, as one Imagineer no-so-delicately put it, “keeping the older WDW crowd happy.”
Connected by a box truck shuttle to theme parks nearby, this hotel has been custom designed and will be built to serve as the flagship for a new Disney Vacation Club offering, “Virtually Yours™,” a part of the new “D Eternity™” initiative.
As you may be guessing, this move signals that Disney is now preparing to tap into a new market, as they start canvassing senior centers, retirement villages, hospitals and pharmacies, along with analyzing age data from recent visitors to their resorts, to target Disney fans who are moving into the final season of their lives.
For the push into this new area, the idea behind Disney Virtually Yours (DiVY) is simple; thanks to the skills of the programmers and the talents of the artists, families can still vacation together, even after the loss of a loved one.
Building upon the same technology used in the interactive “Turtle Talk with Crush” show, as well as special effects first seen in the Disney Dream suites, your Disney MagicMobile app will trigger personalized interactions with passed-on family members at various locations within the resort. Experiences will be tiered, as Disney will offer increased levels of interactivity and personalization with virtual family members at higher price points.
A planning memo notes: “A DVC/DiVY membership offers convenience (combine memorial and vacation trips), value (virtual guests, after a programming/assembly fee, are ‘booked’ at lower rates depending on season), and of course, magic (forget Mickey, Grandma is doing our wake-up call), as only the Disney Company can.”
Disney head honchos know it may seem almost ghoulish that they are taking the company into an area that at first look seems incompatible with its entertainment offerings… but where there’s a wallet, there’s a way…
As Bob Chapeck has said privately to more than a few shareholders, “Look, we’re already in the memorial business, just step outside the Team Disney building here in Burbank,” (in reference to the Disney Legends plaza) “or visit the parks” (in reference to the hundreds of skeletons and many graveyards seen in attractions, as well as tribute windows on Main Street and a parade of robot US Presidents).
Since this is Disney, every other angle has been painstakingly examined for revenue opportunities. Even if a family can’t afford the financial commitment of a Virtually Yours membership, there will still be other items and services they can purchase via Genie to get that special Disney detail for a loved one who has passed on.
Three new offerings are detailed below, you can rest assured that they are only the first of many more to come as there is one sure audience that keeps growing and growing… the deceased!
Be Our Guest, Forever
The product line that has been developed for the D Eternity initiative begins its rollout with themed crematory ash urns. These themes were chosen to start with due to their more portable nature (easier to sell in the parks and ship online); it’s still unclear if caskets will follow later. Below are a few examples of what this new line will look like:
Perfect to display on the shelf above the TV!
(Leasing plans are currently under discussion.)
(Vinylmation versions are on hold due to durability issues.)
As you can see, the Beauty and the Beast, Tron and Pirates of the Caribbean urns are first up, their appeal to an older demographic putting them at the head of the list. Why no Star Wars, Marvel, Haunted Mansion or the obvious Coco? They’re being considered for a phase two launch that will feature a new wedding line.
Who knew when Buzz Lightyear first uttered the phrase “To Infinity… and Beyond!” just how prophetic it would be.
– Al
And yes, this piece is running on April 1st and inspired by a classic we first ran ten years ago. But don’t think for a moment that it isn’t possible.