Welcome to Fab’s Five, where we’ll discuss five fabulous subjects. Nothing more, nothing less: that’s the rule. Today, we’ll take a trip to Neverland to look at five attractions that never saw the light of day. They had been thought out and even potentially planned, but along the line, they were all canceled. Let’s begin.
5. Batman Island, Universal’s Islands of Adventure
Before Islands of Adventure was Islands of Adventure, it was Universal’s Cartoon Islands. Yep, it was going to be an entire theme park based on toons. We still see signs of this in Toon Lagoon and Seuss Landing. With the addition of Jurassic Park to the pre-opening roster, the park formerly known as Cartoon Islands became Universal’s Islands of Adventure. Before the suits at Universal signed that oh-so-problematic contract with Marvel, Marvel Superhero Island was slated to be Batman Island…or Gotham Island, depending on what week it was. The weenie for the island was going to be a five-story tall statue of the man himself, ragged cape frozen in the wind. There was supposed to be a batwing roller coaster themed to The Penguin, a live stage show inside an effects-packed theater and a Batcar (not Batmobile) ride with The Joker.
There would also be a dining-with-DC superheroes restaurant, a place to get “Bat Bites” (get your rabies shot first!), shops made to look like Catwoman’s Lair, Brainiac’s ship and a warehouse where Lex Luthor is hiding out. There was also going to be a Riddler’s Shop and a Joker’s Shop as well as a grandiose carny game arena. Best of all was a nightclub, supposedly Wayne Manor, very much like The Magic Castle in Hollywood with secret entrances and special effects.
4. The Great Muppet Movie Ride, Disney’s MGM/Hollywood Studios
Back before Jim Henson died from walking pneumonia (that he decided to not see a doctor about), it was a honeymoon period of sorts with Disney and The Muppets. MuppetVision 3D appeared to be heading toward a successful opening and there were plans for a temporary Muppet takeover of Disneyland, complete with green Matterhorn.
The Muppet area in the Studio park was supposed to be a lot bigger – an entire land, in fact. The crown jewel was to have been The Great Muppet Movie Ride. Guests would go through situations similar to The Great Movie Ride, but with the Muppets’ zany humor and antics. For example, the vehicle would approach a snow scene from Dr. Zhivago, Miss Piggy in the sled as snow falls around her. Then, you’d turn the corner and see several Muppets grunting and straining as they try to keep shaking the giant snowglobe she’s in. But with Henson’s death, Disney thought that they could get more money out of the Henson family, so met with them on the Burbank Studio Lot to try to negotiate a better deal now that Jim was out of the picture. The family refused, so the Disney lawyers closed up their briefcases and left them alone on a dark and empty lot. It took years for the bad blood to fade.
3. Plectu’s Fantastic Galactic Revue, Disneyland
Back in 1984, Disney approached George Lucas to remake Tomorrowland into Star Wars Spaceport, based wholly on the idea that aliens had come to make their home in what would formerly be Tomorrowland. Star Tours would be there, of course, and Mission to Mars would be rethemed. The Peoplemover would become the Speeder Bikes from Return of the Jedi, and America Sings would become Plectu’s Fantastic Galactic Revue, a Country Bear-styled show featuring all sorts of wacky and creative aliens playing themselves as instruments, juggling plates and showing off their talents for the audience, led by ringmaster P.T. Quantum.
The concept lingered through at least two other concepts for the land (Tomorrowland 2055 and “Montana Tomorrowland”) before Innoventions finally moved into the building. Sadly, the revolving has now stopped forever.
2. Russia Pavilion, EPCOT Center
Da! A charming Russia Pavilion was planned, complete with an adorable it’s a small world-type boat ride through a Russian winter wonderland, comfort food at their beautiful restaurant, and St. Basil’s Cathedral’s onion towers looming over World Showcase Lagoon
Unfortunately, at the time, every Russian company whom Disney approached to fund the pavilion either didn’t have the resources or had ties, allegedly, to the Russian Mafia, so it died before it started due to lack of funding.
1. Island at the Top of the World, Disneyland
You knew I was going to get to Discovery Bay, the greatest land that Disneyland never built. But today is about unbuilt attractions, so let’s focus in on Tony Baxter’s epic Island at the Top of the World ride, which would have been the focus of Discovery Bay.
Imagine Soarin’ over a fictional Viking land, but with all practical models and your Hyperion balloon on a track above you. Kind of like Peter Pan’s London but to the nth degree. Like comparing Pirates to it’s a small world, and The Adventures of Spider-Man to Midway Mania. Just a huge step forward in technology and storytelling. Your vehicle would be caught in storms, be attacked by angry Vikings, and soar over snowy peaks – without a screen in sight.
Unfortunately, the movie died a dog’s death at the box office, and so did what would have been a Disney attraction for the ages.
What are your favorite unbuilt attractions? Let me know in the comments below.
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